100 Boston Jokes

Boston, often hailed as the “Hub of the Universe,” is a city known for its rich history, distinct accent, passionate sports culture, and, of course, its unique sense of humor.

Bostonians have a reputation for being sharp-witted, sarcastic, and quick on their feet when it comes to cracking jokes.

In this article, we’ll take a humorous journey through the world of Boston jokes, celebrating the city’s distinctive humor and the cherished moments it has given us.

1. Why did the Bostonians refuse to play hide and seek? Good luck hiding when you can’t pronounce “R”!
2. How do you make a Bostonian smile on a Monday? Tell them it’s Friday!
3. What do you call a Bostonian with no sense of humor? A “chowdahhead.”
4. Why did the lobster blush in Boston? Because it saw the clam chowder!
5. What’s a Bostonian’s favorite exercise? Pahkour!
6. How do you make a Bostonian mad? Insult Tom Brady or Dunkin’ Donuts.
7. Why do Bostonians make terrible secret agents? They can’t keep anything “hush-hush.”
8. What did one Bostonian say to the other during a snowstorm? “Wicked cold out, isn’t it?”
9. How does a Bostonian end a sentence? With “Kid.”
10. What do you call a Bostonian who loves gardening? A “beanstalk” enthusiast.
11. How do you know if someone’s from Boston? Don’t worry, they’ll “talk” about it.
12. Why don’t Bostonians ever get lost? Because they always find their way to the Dunkin’ Donuts on the corner!
13. What do you call a Bostonian with a Ph.D.? A “Dunkin’ Doc.”
14. Why did the Bostonian bring a ladder to the bar? Because they heard the drinks were on the “top shelf.”
15. What’s a Bostonian’s favorite seafood? Anything with “lobster.”
16. Why do Bostonians make terrible detectives? Because they can’t help but say, “I saw ya do it, kid!”
17. How do you get a Bostonian to stop talking? Ask them to spell “Worcester” or “Gloucester.”
18. What’s a Bostonian’s favorite season? Fall, because it’s “pahking” season!
19. How does a Bostonian express excitement? “That’s wicked awesome!”
20. Why don’t Bostonians play hide and seek in the snow? Good luck hiding when you leave footprints everywhere!
21. How do Bostonians apologize? “Sorry ’bout that, kid!”
22. What do you call a Bostonian chef? A “chowdah guru.”
23. What’s a Bostonian’s favorite dance move? The “Boston Tea Party.”
24. Why did the Bostonians cross the road? To get to the Dunkin’ Donuts drive-thru!
25. What’s a Bostonian’s favorite time of day? Tea time, of course!
26. How do Bostonians make ice cream? With “Hahvahd” cream.
27. What’s the Bostonian’s version of a treasure map? A map to the best lobster rolls in town!
28. Why did the Bostonians bring a ladder to the seafood buffet? To get to the “haddock” on the top shelf!
29. What’s the Bostonian’s secret to a healthy diet? Lots of clam chowdah – it’s practically a vegetable!
30. How do you confuse a Bostonian? Ask them for directions on the “parkway.”
31. What do you get when you cross a Bostonian and a vampire? A “fanged” New Englander!
32. Why did the Bostonians bring a snowplow to the beach? To make a wicked big sandcastle!
33. What do you call a Bostonian who can’t handle spicy food? A “mild-ah.”
34. How do Bostonians stay warm in the winter? With a cup of Dunkin’ hot cocoa!
35. Why don’t Bostonians ever get lost in the woods? Because they follow the “trail mix.”
36. What’s a Bostonian’s favorite love song? “Sweet Caroline,” of course!
37. How do you make a Bostonian laugh on a Sunday? Tell them the Patriots are going to the Super Bowl again!
38. Why did the Bostonian bring a ladder to the seafood restaurant? Because they heard the lobster tank was on the roof!
39. What’s a Bostonian’s favorite superhero? “Cape Cod” Man!
40. How do Bostonians greet each other in the morning? “Top of the morning to ya, kid!”
41. Why don’t Bostonians ever play hide and seek on the subway? Because there’s no hiding from the “T”!
42. What’s a Bostonian’s favorite car brand? Anything with a “cruise” control.
43. Why don’t Bostonians ever become pirates? Because they can’t say, “Aye, aye, captain!”
44. What’s a Bostonian’s favorite board game? “Monopahly.”
45. How do you make a Bostonian cry? Tell them there’s no more chowder left.
46. Why did the Bostonians bring a shovel to the beach? To dig for buried “trash.”
47. What’s a Bostonian’s favorite fruit? Cran-ber-ry.
48. How do you know if someone’s from Boston? They’ll call a milkshake a “frappe.”
49. Why don’t Bostonians ever play hide and seek in the harbor? Because it’s too “choppy”!
50. What’s a Bostonian’s favorite bedtime story? “The Tahr of Two Cities.”
51. What do you call a Bostonian who loves seafood? A “fish-tornado.”
52. Why did the Bostonians bring a ladder to the Red Sox game? To catch a “fly.”
53. How does a Bostonian take their tea? Wicked hot!
54. What’s a Bostonian’s favorite song to sing in the shower? “Dirty Water” by The Standells.
55. Why did the Bostonians refuse to play cards with the lobsters? Because they were afraid of getting “clawed” out.
56. What’s a Bostonian’s favorite punctuation mark? The “pah-komma.”
57. How do you know if someone’s from Boston? They’ll tell you the quickest route to Fenway Park.
58. Why did the Bostonians bring a snow shovel to the beach? To make a wicked big sand igloo!
59. What do you get when you cross a Bostonian and a comedian? A “laugh-achusetts” resident.
60. How do Bostonians catch fish? They “lobstah” a line!
61. What’s a Bostonian’s favorite pirate saying? “Aye, matey, pass the chowdah!”
62. Why did the Bostonians bring a ladder to the marathon? To reach the “finish line.”
63. How do Bostonians greet each other at the coffee shop? “Regular, extra sugah!”
64. What’s a Bostonian’s favorite Shakespeare play? “Macbeth” (because it’s wicked “quilty”).
65. Why did the Bostonians bring a ladder to the bakery? To get to the top of the “doughnut hole!”
66. What do you call a Bostonian who loves gardening? A “beanstalk” enthusiast.
67. Why did the Bostonians bring a ladder to the movie theater? Because they heard the best seats were in the “lobster tank.”
68. How do Bostonians stay cool in the summer? With “hahvahd” lemonade!
69. What’s a Bostonian’s favorite mythical creature? The “lobstahcorn.”
70. Why did the Bostonian bring a ladder to the ice cream shop? To get a “cone-a-copia” of flavors!
71. What do you call a Bostonian with a great sense of humor? A “laughfellow.”
72. How does a Bostonian describe a really tall building? “Wicked high!”
73. Why did the Bostonians bring a ladder to the bakery? Because they heard the muffins were “to die for.”
74. What’s a Bostonian’s favorite type of workout? “Pahking” their cash.
75. How do you make a Bostonian blush? Compliment their accent!
76. Why did the Bostonians bring a ladder to the seafood buffet? To get to the “top-notch” crab legs.
77. What’s a Bostonian’s favorite fairy tale? “Cinderella,” because she had to be home by midnight to catch the “last call” at the bar.
78. How do you make a Bostonian smile during a snowstorm? Remind them the Red Sox won the World Series.
79. Why did the Bostonians bring a ladder to the airport? To catch a “flight” of fancy!
80. What’s a Bostonian’s favorite vegetable? Green “bean” (baked into a casserole, of course).
81. How do Bostonians celebrate Halloween? With “trick-or-treats” and plenty of “scary-ously” good candy.
82. Why did the Bostonian bring a ladder to the comedy club? To reach the “upper punchline”!
83. What’s a Bostonian’s favorite video game? “Call of Duty: Bahston Warfare.”
84. How do Bostonians order their pizza? “Extra cheese, hold the ‘at,’ kid!”
85. Why did the Bostonian bring a ladder to the seafood restaurant? Because they heard the lobster tank was on the roof!
86. What’s a Bostonian’s favorite type of beer? Anything brewed locally – “Hahpoon” or “Sammie,” perhaps?
87. How do you make a Bostonian cringe? Mispronounce “Copley Square” or “Quincy Market.”
88. Why did the Bostonians bring a ladder to the library? To get to the “bookshelf” at the top.
89. What’s a Bostonian’s favorite holiday movie? “The Faneuil Hallmark Christmas Spectacular.”
90. How do you know if someone’s from Boston? They’ll ask you for directions to the nearest Dunkin’ Donuts.
91. Why did the Bostonians bring a ladder to the bakery? To try the “upside-down Boston cream pie”!
92. What’s a Bostonian’s favorite way to spend a summer day? A trip to the Cape and some clam chowdah by the shore.
93. How do Bostonians play hide and seek? They say, “I’m over hee-ah!” instead of counting.
94. What’s a Bostonian’s favorite part of a sandwich? The “sam-ich.”
95. Why did the Bostonians bring a ladder to the seafood buffet? To reach the “top-notch” crab legs.
96. What’s a Bostonian’s favorite cocktail? The “Bahston Tea Party.”
97. How do you make a Bostonian laugh at a wedding? Tell them it’s an “I doo-wedding”!
98. Why did the Bostonians bring a ladder to the Red Sox game? To catch a “fly.”
99. What’s a Bostonian’s favorite game show? “Wheel of Foh-chun!”
100. How do you know if someone’s from Boston? They’ll say “wicked” before almost anything.

Related:

Boston jokes are a testament to the city’s unique charm and wit.

From the distinctive accent to sports rivalries, unpredictable weather, and even self-deprecating humor, Bostonians have a knack for finding humor in the everyday challenges and quirks of their beloved city.

These jokes serve not only as a source of laughter but also as a way for Bostonians to celebrate their identity and share their city’s culture with the world.

So, whether you’re a Bostonian yourself or just passing through, don’t be surprised if you find yourself sharing a hearty laugh at a Boston joke – it’s all part of the city’s irresistible charm.